is your dentist also your therapist?
Your dentist should quit being a dentist and become a philosopher
my dentist just tells me i need to floss more
But then I realized, you didn’t really love me, didn’t you? You fell in love with the idea of me. That night happened because maybe you felt it was unfair to let someone love you when you didn’t feel the same way for them in return. I guess that was it.
I wasn’t your first love after all, but well,
You were mine. You’re always going to be mine.
He was my definition of bliss. He was my happiness. It’s like he radiated it. His smile makes me melt everytime. So was his voice. It triggers a smile in me too and it was contagious. I always looked back and marveled how flawless his every smile was. Being with him was like a drug, I was addicted to it. Because he’s always there to listen and bring me joy. I now long for that drug. I long for him. I want to smile like I always did when I was with him. I wanted him to know that i’ve never been happier before like i did with him. However, I never did think for once that it would be the death of me too. I could still go on without the joy he used to bring, but then it wouldn’t be the same anymore. Nothing would then be the same. I felt an excruciating pain my heart.
Just now, I saw a post on facebook about my auntie who celebrates her birthday today (Happy Birthday Auntie!) My mind went way back to when I was still about 7 years old and how strict and mean I thought she looked like back then. Since his father and my auntie’s family were kind of business partners on their work, the thought of him hit me like a wave.
How i wish i could tell him how I thought of that aunt when i was a kid and ask if he thinks the same way when he first saw her too. I wanted to tell him stories like I did before. I wanted to hear his opinion about the things that I need advice with; he was always good with that.
I wanted to talk to him about everything. In fact, all I just want right now is to talk to him again. It wouldn’t matter what the topic is, just to be able to talk to him would suffice. Actually, just to hear his voice, that’s what I want. I want to hear his mature but cute and sleepy voice; I don’t even know how it sounds like now because we haven’t talked ever since that night. I’d like to go back to our videos together or the ones which he sang for me but he deleted them already. Well he was faster than I thought.
I miss everything. Life never really is fair. I don’t think it ever will be. “C’est La Vie”, they said. Problem is, I hated how life is like that. I’ll keep on missing him and those memories and feelings left behind in my mind, those things never wanting to go away so as it seems part of my life already. He permanently tattooed those wonderful memories in my mind, and feelings in my heart..
never knowing how scarring, painful and difficult those permanent tattoos gone despite how beautiful they looked.